Chapter 31 - This Moment

I'm gonna take this moment, make it last forever

I'm gonna give my heart away and pray we'll stay together

Cause you're the one good reason

You're the only girl that I need

Cause you're more beautiful than I have ever seen

I'm gonna take this night

Make it evergreen

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

"Let's start closing!" I announced and the closure of the chest wall. The last surgical operation that I had to perform was an Open Thoracotomy, which involves opening of the chest wall to gain access to the heart. It was a case of a cardiac tamponade after being stabbed three times to the heart. I had to repair the heart to save the patient.

It was already 10 in the evening when I finished everything and was able to leave the hospital. I was so tired but I still felt excited in going home to see the two most important people of my life - Donghae and my son Aiden. I drove fast to my home. 

Chapter 30 - Whatever It Takes

Whatever you want, whatever you need
Whatever it takes, I'll do anything
If I have to crawl, get down on my knees
Whatever it takes, I'll do anything

LEE DONGHAE

"Appa! Can we buy ice cream?" Aiden asked when he saw the ice cream van. 

I felt happy hearing him call me 'appa' and I smiled at him. We headed towards the van. We bought two ice cream. Aiden wanted chocolate flavor so I granted his wish. He started licking the ice cream and stained his cheek. I wiped it off and he chuckled.

How cute can this kid be? 

Chapter 29 - The Boy is Mine

You need to give it up

Had about enough

It's not hard to see

The boy is mine

I'm sorry that you seem to be confused

He belongs to me

The boy is mine...

LEE DONGHAE

"Can I call you daddy?"

Aiden's question struck me.

I was carrying him while the three of us were heading inside Sharp Star City Apartment towards our dorm. Aiden wrapped his arms around my neck and smiled at Althea.

"Why, do you me to become your daddy?" I asked him.

"Of course!" he replied cheerfully. I heard Althea chuckle behind us.

Chapter 28 - Sunshine

Sunshine through my window

That's what you are

My shining star

Making me feel like I'm top of the world

Telling me that I'd go far

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

It's good to see him again.

I already planned our meeting but I never thought it would be this way. I never expected him to meet our son at the concert. And I've never imagined meeting him again at the backstage carrying Aiden.

Things do happen when you least expect them.

Chapter 27 - A Little More Time on You

Your love is like a river, peaceful and deep

Your soul is like a secret that I never could keep

Why I look into your eyes I know that it's true

God must have spent a little more time on you

LEE DONGHAE

Althea...

I froze. I didn't know what to do. Leeteuk moved towards her and shook her hand.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you. You son Aiden is very talented."

Chapter 26 - Find Me

Find me here in your arms

Now I'm wondering where you've always been

Blindly, I came to you

Knowing you'd breathe new life from within

LEE DONGHAE

SUPER SHOW 11 THE ULTIMATE SUPER SHOW

The day, not only all of us, but especially all the ELF in the world waited for so long - our ultimate comeback. This time all of us, 15 members, are back together for this dream concert.

Chapter 25 - My Everything

You are my everything

Nothing your love won't bring

My life is yours alone

The only love I've ever known 

Your spirit pulls me through

When nothing else will do

Every night I pray, on bended knee

That you will always be my everything

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

"Congratulations Dr. Fajardo. You're seven weeks pregnant!" Dr. Wu, my colleague who is an OB-Gyn resident told me after showing me my ultrasound results. I delayed my sonography for a week as I originally planned since I was not ready yet.

Chapter 24 - Thank You, Mom

You were my mom, you were my dad
The only thing I only had was you, it's true
And even when the times got hard
you were there to let us know that we'd get through
you taught me how to understand the things people do
And I thank you, I'll always thank you
More than you would know, more than I could show

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

It has been a month.

Everything is still fresh on my mind. His face, his smile, even his scent. I couldn't forget him.

Chapter 23 - I Love You, Goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone

Is the hardest thing to do

When you love someone as much as I love you

No, I don't wanna leave you

Baby, it tears me up inside

But I'll never be the one you needed

I love you, goodbye...

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

Uh-oh.

I gave him the look and pulled the door to close it, yet Donghae was stronger than me. He pulled the door open and went inside. He smirked and went close to me.

"Seriously?" I asked. 

Chapter 22 - Thunder

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

Do you know you're unlike any other

You'll always be my thunder and I say

You're eyes shone the brightest of all the colors

I don't wanna ever love another

You'll always be my thunder

So bring on the rain...

KEVIN CHANG

I haven't seen Althea since yesterday. Since she told me she loves Donghae.

I couldn't forget her face. It was the first time I've seen her worried and angry at the same time. I've always seen her happy face. There were also times when I saw her in deep thoughts like she's having some problems yet she pretended she was okay. But yesterday, her expression was pure and honest.

I couldn't even sleep well last night thinking about her. I realized I just couldn't have her. 

Chapter 21 - Distance

I give you everything I am

All my broken heartbeats

Until I know you'll understand

And I will make sure to keep my distance

Say I love you when you're not listening

How long can we keep this up?

LEE DONGHAE

Knock! Knock!

"Wait a minute!" I heard Althea's voice behind the door. A few minutes later, the door swung open and Althea came out.

Chapter 20 - I'm Yours

So I won't hesitate no more

It cannot wait, I'm sure

There's no need to complicate

Our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

I woke up when I felt a movement beside me. I opened my eyes slowly and saw Donghae's naked torso. My heart raced fast as the memory of last night's events dawned to me. 

I did it with him! I slept with him!

I kept looking at his well-built torso. He has no six-pack abs but I could say, his body is firm and well-exercised. I didn't get a good look last night because there were no lights. 

I realized that I was naked as well so I got up and moved slowly, looking for my clothes. They were everywhere! I got my laced panties and my shirt and hurriedly wore them. I moved to the edge of the bed slowly but a grip stopped me.

Chapter 19 - Hands Down

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me

So won't you kill me, so I'd die happy

My heart is yours to fill or burst

To break or bury or wear as jewelry

Whichever you prefer

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember

Always remember

LEE DONGHAE


I woke up when I felt my hunger pangs. As I looked at my iPhone, I realized it was already 1AM. I saw the food at my bedside table and never hesitated to eat it. I wanted to freshen up so I went to the bathroom and took a shower. It felt good after that high fever.

 Wait, yes I was sick. Then who took care of me? 

Chapter 18 - Bliss

Let me know if I'm doing this right

Let me know if my grip's too tight

Let me know if I can stay all of my life

Let me know if dreams can come true

Let me know if this one's yours too

Cause I feel you right here...

LEE DONGHAE

We arrived at the ship after an hour and half cruise onboard the catamaran.

"I need to rest. You guys need to rest too," Althea told us, me and Kevin. 

She went back to her cabin. I also went to mine. I showered to freshen up and lay on my bed. I had a short nap and when I woke up, my head started to hurt like hell. I didn't have enough sleep last night thinking of Althea and I went to that excursion under intense heat of the sun. No wonder I am starting to get sick. 

Chapter 17 - Invisible

I wish you look at me that way
Your beautiful eyes looking deep into mine
Telling me more than any words could say
But you don't even know I'm alive
Baby to you, all I am is the invisible man...

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO


I didn't get enough sleep. I think I didn't sleep at all! 


I kept on looking at the star necklace Donghae gave me. His face and his words were stuck on my head.


I arrived at the meeting place and was surprised to see Donghae. When he saw me, he smiled sweetly and I felt chills sent down to my spine. All I could do was smile back and pretend that I was not 'that' affected by him.


"Good morning," he greeted. "Did you sleep well?" 

Chapter 16 - Moving Closer

Inch by inch we're moving closer

Feels like a fairytale ending...

Take my heart, this is the moment

I'm moving closer to you...

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

Shopping for SJ members' gifts? Not a bad idea at all!

I agreed to Donghae's favor to go with him shopping. It was a good idea since I didn't have anything to do this time. We went to the Royal Promenade, which is the mall of the ship where everything one needs can be found.

Chapter 15 - Especially for You

Especially for you...

I wanna let you know what I was going through

All the time we were apart I thought of you

You were in my heart

My love never changed

I still feel the same...

LEE DONGHAE

That should be me.

It was already four in the afternoon when we came back to the ship after the excursion. I hated myself for not being Althea's partner. I envy how Kevin seemed to enjoy her company. I envy their private talks. I envy them being together throughout the excursion like a real couple.

Chapter 14 - Couldn't Ask for More

I couldn't ask for more than this time together

I couldn't ask for more than this time with you

Every breath has been answered

Every dream I have come true

Right here in this moment, it's what we're all meant to be

Here with you, here with me...

KEVIN CHANG

"Hi Althea!" I called her. She smiled at me.

"Hi Kevin."

Donghae greeted her too.

What is this guy doing here?

Chapter 13 - Now

Now is all I think about

Now that I am happy

And I'm not sure if there will be a future for us...

Now is all I offer

It's everything I got

And I still wish that there will be a future for us...

LEE DONGHAE

"Althea," I called her.

She looked at me but continued to walk as if she didn't mind my presence. When she walked past where I was standing, I followed her and held her arm to stop her.

"Please, hear me out."

She didn't look at me.

"Please don't make this hard for me," she finally said.

I wrapped my arms around her shoulders in a backhug. I expected her to breakaway but she didn't move.

Chapter 12 - Learning to Fall

I'm learning to fall, 

I can't hardly breathe

When I'm going down don't worry about me

Don't try this at home,

 Pretend you don't see

I don't wanna know that you know it should've been me...

KEVIN CHANG

Thank you Althea for trusting me again.

The movie started according to the scheduled time. The film was fun and the storyline was well-created. Although the target audience were kids, I myself enjoyed the film. So did Althea. She was laughing so hard like a child. She would sometimes talk to me about the film and we would then be laughing together.

I knew that she only came with me because I wanted to watch this with a friend but it didn't matter. It may still be difficult for her to trust me completely after what I did. I regretted it badly and winning her trust back would not be easy but I would definitely try my best.

I may be enjoying the film but there was still something that bothered me. 

Chapter 11 - Supposed

In my eyes I'm screaming for the sight of you...
And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through...
And I can't hold on to you...
So I guess I'll be lonely too...

LEE DONGHAE

"What are you do-"

I kissed her. I kissed Althea. I was not sure about what really happened. All I know was that I needed her. I felt her soft lips and didn't want to let go but she broke the kiss and pushed me.

"What are you doing?!" she asked. She looked shocked and angry. 

"I like you, Althea," I told her.

Chapter 10 - Could Be Wrong

If I could hold your hand, look into your eyes...

Would you try to understand the things I'm gonna say?

If I could show you how much I feel for you...

Would you turn around and tell me you feel the same way too?

Could be wrong you know, coming out the blue...

I really have to say this

Baby, I love you...

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

"If you're going to sleep then I'll sleep with you."

Those were Donghae's words that made me go crazy. "What?!" was all I could say.

He laughed at my response. "That was scary," he said.

"You are making fun of me huh?" I said, pouting. His facial expression changed to worry.

"Are you angry?" he asked. "I just didn't want you to leave. I'm sorry..."

He really is a child. The Donghae I knew two years ago - innocent, childish and cute - is the one facing me right now. I laughed looking at his expression.

Chapter 9 - Falling

Will you stay or will you go...

Heaven knows what my future holds...

Questions linger on my mind...

From daybreak til dark of night...

I don't know what's come over me...

Can't you see that I'm falling...

Girl, I'm falling for you...

LEE DONGHAE

"I told you to trust me, right?"


Althea blushed after hearing what I said. She really looked cute. She tried to stand up on her own and let go of my hug. I laughed at her attempt to break free but fail as she keeps on falling.


"Hey, relax..." I told her. "If you keep on struggling, you won't learn for sure." I held out both my hands for her to hold on to. She held them and supported her weight. "Try to fall on your own..."

Chapter 8 - Thank You

THANK YOU - Dido

"I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life...

Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life..."

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

Somebody please help me!


I was shouting in my head as I was struggling to break free from Kevin's harassment. He was too strong. It seemed that my energy has been drained. I just closed my eyes and hoped for a miracle to happen. I prayed for someone to stop him. Anyone, just please help me!


Then I felt someone grabbed my arm. 


"Don't you dare touch her again!" I heard an angry scream. I opened my eyes and saw Donghae standing in front of me. He was still holding my arm. I was not expecting him to come but he did. He just saved me. He then looked at me. It was the first time that I've seen that facial expression. He looked pissed, even more than that. "Let's get out of here."

Chapter 7 - I'd Do Anything

I'd Do Anything - Simple Plan

"I'd do anything just to hold you in my arms...
Try to make you laugh but somehow I can't put you in the past...
I'd do anything just to fall asleep with you...
And you'll remember me cause I know I can't forget you..."

KEVIN CHANG

I opened my eyes when I felt the heat of the sun on my face. It was already one in the afternoon. I guess I overslept after having four bottles of liquor - alone. 


I was too bored last night especially when Althea just left me and I haven't seen her then. I've met few girls at the bar but I wonder why I only wanted to see her. I think I was too bothered by the reason why she asked for my whereabouts the other night. Was she looking for a guy and thought it could be me? Did something happen to her? These thoughts kept racing my mind that my head started to hurt.


I shifted my thoughts on what to do today. I wondered what excursion I should be having but then I realized that the ship won't dock this day.

Chapter 6 - Every Little Thing

MYMP - Every Little Thing He Does is Magic

"Every little thing he does is magic...
Every thing he does just turns me on...
Even though my love before was tragic...
Now I know my love for him goes on..."

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

I.am.dead.


Totally dead.


My greatest dream has come true but it turned into my worst nightmare. I wanted to meet Donghae badly but I never wanted to be embarrassed in front of him! He was right there in front of me, laughing so hard at my stupidity. 


I felt my face burn as I tried so hard to not to show how red my face was. He kept laughing for like 5 minutes until he finally got back to his senses.


"Oh, I'm so sorry," he said, still catching his breath. "I've never really met someone who literally thought of me as a fish. I am so amazed."

Chapter 5 - Sweet Serendipity

Lee DeWyze - Sweet Serendipity

"And I'm doing just fine, I'm landing on my feet...

In the nic of time and by the skin of my teeth...

I ain't gonna stress cause the worst ain't happened yet...

Something's watching over me like sweet serendipity..."

LEE DONGHAE

I was having a shower when I heard a knock on my door. I just came back from the Loterie Treetop Adventure Tour. It was like an adventure camp wherein I tried series of zip lines, rope swings and bridges suspended from platforms mounted in forest trees. It was very fun although I was honestly scared at first. I finished the tour for three hours and decided to go back to the ship to freshen up. When I arrived, miss drunk had left already. She arranged my things and left my room tidy. I was moved by that gesture. I knew she's not a bad person at all. 

Chapter 4 - Stunned

Adele - Chasing Pavements

"Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements...

even if it leads nowhere?

Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place...

Should I leave it there?"

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

I woke up in an unknown cabin. My head hurts so much. I tried to remember what happened last night. I could recall that I went to the bar and bought some drinks. I know I got drunk last night. But now, I'm wondering where I am. I felt that something's different with me and then I realized I'm wearing a different shirt! It's a guy's shirt for sure! My heart raced fast and many things popped up my head.

"What really happened to me?" I thought.

I looked around and saw breakfast served on the bedside table. And there was a note.

"Good morning! Before you leave my room, make sure to eat your breakfast. I also left the medicine for your hangover. I already brought the keys so you can just lock the door if you leave. I already sent your shirt soaked with sweat to the laundry so you can visit me to get it."

There was no name on the note. Who the hell is this person?!

Chapter 4 Preview

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

I woke up in an unknown cabin. My head hurts so much. I tried to remember what happened last night. I remembered I went to the bar and got drunk. But now, I'm wondering where I am. I felt that something's different with me and then I realized I'm wearing a different shirt! It's a guy's shirt for sure! My heart raced fast and many things popped up my head.

"What really happened to me?" I thought.

I looked around and saw breakfast served on the bedside table. And there was a note.

"Good morning! Before you leave my room, make sure to eat your breakfast. I also left the medicine for your hangover. I already brought the keys so you can just lock the door when you leave. I already sent your shirt soaked with sweat to the laundry so you can visit me to get it."

There was no name on the note. Who the hell is this person?!

Chapter 3 - Confusion

02 Nine Days - Absolutely (Story of a Girl)

"This is a story of a girl...

who cried a river and drowned the whole world...

when she looks so sad in photographs...

I absolutely love her...

when she smiles..."

LEE DONGHAE

The ship departed Charlotte Amalie port at 6pm. I had so much fun in the excursions that I chose. I made new friends and tried so many things. I tried helmet diving, skyride and the island tour. I never thought I would be able to try them in my life. I thought I would be stuck in show business and never be able to do things on my own. I am happy that now I'm here.

I stayed at my room after I arrived back from the excursions. Even though I had so much fun today, I knew it would be better if other Super Junior members were with me. I checked my phone for any messages or missed calls. I got 3 messages.

Preview for Chapter 3

LEE DONGHAE

I heard a girl's voice when I went out of my cabin's balcony. 

"Lee Donghae! Where are you now? Are you married already? Are going to become a father? Are you happy? Well, you should!"

I looked around to look for the person shouting my name. I saw at the deck below my cabin a girl who looked drunk. She was shouting at the sea in the middle of the night. She was already climbing the rails and if she does something crazy, she might fall!

I decided to run to her...

Chapter 2 - Moving On

Superstar-Taylor Swift

"I'm no one special just another wide-eyed girl who's desperately in love with you... 

Give me your photograph to hang on my wall...

Superstar..."

KEVIN CHANG

I needed this trip. One of my business partners told me about this cruise and he was able to convince me. Being a businessman is not easy so I always find time to relax and unwind. I prefer taking trips like this alone. I'm already 27 years old and I would never get any younger. Marriage is not really on my priority list. I date girls and have sex with them but I never considered marrying anyone. I guess that's the reason my mom is already on her hypertensive maintenance. She's been bugging me on this stuff but I always fail her. I feel bad for her but it's just me. No one can force me to do anything I don't like.

After approximately 10 snoozes of my alarm, I finally got out of my bed. Today is the first stop of the 13-Night Transatlantic Cruise and I've chosen exciting activities in this stop. I wonder if I could meet new girls and have fun with them.

Chapter 1 - On Board

Boyce Avenue - Better In Time(acoustic)

"Thought couldn't live without you, it's gonna hurt when it heals too...

It'll all get better in time...

Even though I really love you...

I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to...

It'll all get better in time..."

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

I needed a break. Being a doctor in a foreign land is too stressful for me. Singapore is a very nice country and very organized but I have to admit, their standards make me feel pressured. I miss my fangirl life especially being an Everlasting Friend (ELF).  I miss my friends, Super Junior and Lee Donghae. It's too ironic that I miss them more than my family. It's just that my family adds more stress to my life so I don't really miss them that much.

I decided to work here and leave my fangirl life to move on. Accepting the truth was difficult for me. People say I'm crazy for thinking and feeling this way, but I just couldn't stop myself. Seeing Donghae happy with his girlfriend and even having thoughts on marriage is too cruel for me. It has been a year since he announced in public his relationship with an actress and I don't really know if he's already married now.

To forget all these mental stress, I decided to go on a cruise. I really wanted to try this since I was young and now, with the money I personally earn, I could finally achieve this dream. I chose to try the 13-Night Transatlantic Cruise of the Adventure of the Seas. The deaprture port is in San Juan, Puerto Rico so I left for Puerto Rico 2 days ahead of the departure schedule. After a 20-hour flight from Singapore to Puerto Rico, I stayed in a hostel to rest before heading towards the port.

New Blog, New Fanfic / Foreword

Weeee! I made a new blog... This blog is made specially for my new fanfic.. I'm new at this so I hope you could bear with me. My fanfic is hetero with Lee Donghae of Super Junior as the main lead... I made sure that all ELF can relate to this fanfic since the girl is an ELF too. haha.

I hope you can all enjoy this fanfic that I made and I hope you can share your comments to.. Please be gentle. haha.

- dawnhae -