Chapter 12 - Learning to Fall

I'm learning to fall, 

I can't hardly breathe

When I'm going down don't worry about me

Don't try this at home,

 Pretend you don't see

I don't wanna know that you know it should've been me...

KEVIN CHANG

Thank you Althea for trusting me again.

The movie started according to the scheduled time. The film was fun and the storyline was well-created. Although the target audience were kids, I myself enjoyed the film. So did Althea. She was laughing so hard like a child. She would sometimes talk to me about the film and we would then be laughing together.

I knew that she only came with me because I wanted to watch this with a friend but it didn't matter. It may still be difficult for her to trust me completely after what I did. I regretted it badly and winning her trust back would not be easy but I would definitely try my best.

I may be enjoying the film but there was still something that bothered me. 

What happened between Althea and the korean-friend-who-happened-to-be-a-celebrity Donghae? Why did she avoid talking about him? She admitted that she's a fan but she didn't tell me if she liked him more than a fan. I knew she does like him and even loves him but I couldn't believe that guy would take advantage of those feelings. I bet he was only sticking with her because he knew she wanted to be close to him. I think Althea knows that herself that's why she didn't want to talk about it. I swear I would never let that guy near her again! I would not risk her heart being broken by that user!

When the movie ended, we went directly to the dining hall to have lunch. Althea kept on smiling and I knew she really had fun watching the movie.

"Hey, thanks alot for the treat. I really enjoyed it!" she said while eating.

"You're very much welcome," I responded.

While we were eating, I saw Donghae heading towards our direction. Althea didn't see him.

"Althea, I'll get some sweets. Just stay here, okay?" I said and headed towards Donghae. He looked calm but serious.

"Let's talk outside," I told him. He looked at me straight in the eye and we went out of the dining hall.

"I told you not to see her again," Donghae said as we reached outside the hall. He looked pissed.

"I asked for Althea's forgiveness and she gave me another chance. You don't have any right to stop me from seeing her."

"What you did to her was unforgivable!" he said, still trying to lower the tone of his angry voice.

"And you think what you're doing to her is alright?" I said. I maintained a calm approach.

He looked puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

"You are taking advantage of her feelings as a fan. You're intentionally getting close to her because you know she likes you. And in the end what? You'll just leave her and pretend you never met her?!"

His facial expression looked as if I hit him right. He remained silent.

"I am serious about Althea. I will win her trust again. And after this trip, I will be with her. So, you... back off!" I said and left him. I hurried back inside because I knew Althea was waiting for me. I grabbed the sweets I promised her and went back to my seat.

"Here you go," I said and handed her the sweets.

"Thanks, Kev," she said smiling and ate the sweets. "This is delicious!"

I swear to God that I would give up everything just to see her smile...

^__^

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

"Kev, again, thank you so much for the treat," I told Kevin after having lunch with him. I felt so glad to have talked to him after that incident. I don't hold grudges so when he approached me, I've already forgiven him. Watching the movie with him was so much fun and I knew I could still enjoy this trip with him despite what happened between Donghae and me.


However, I still believe that I needed time alone. Time for myself, to reflect my feelings. Kevin confessed his feelings for me, so did Donghae but then I couldn't believe those words. How can one fall in love in a matter of days? It may just be attraction but for sure it is not love. And also, everything in this cruise is temporary. By the time this ship docks in its final destination then everyone would go back to their real lives. And everything that happened during the trip would just be memories.


"I need to go back to my cabin. I'll just see you around," I told Kevin. He just smiled at me and nodded. I went back to my cabin and lay in my bed. I closed my eyes and the face I could only see was Donghae's.


Donghae, why are you doing this to me? Just meeting you is enough for me. Being your friend was too much blessing for me already. But why would you suddenly tell me you like me? That is not even true. I know I'm just being so paranoid but this is the only thing possible. That you're just using me because of my feelings for you. That you may only need me to forget Eunseo. And that you will be laughing at me in the end for believing you. I hate to think about these. I'm too scared. So I choose not to believe.


I felt a tear falling on my cheek but kept my eyes closed. In a few minutes, I was sobbing already. It just hurts so much that I wanted to cry my heart out.


I love him. I love him so much...


I didn't realize that I fell asleep after crying so hard. When I woke up, I realized it was already nighttime. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my swollen eyes. I washed my face but still my face looked terrible.


Aargh! I can't get out now! It would be too embarrassing! But what should I do now?


I decided to go to the Solarium at deck 11 which is an indoor pool and lounge for adults. I needed to take a dip. I was pretty sure there were few people in that area at the time since it's dinner time already. I brought my black swimwear and extra shirt. 


When I arrived at the area, I felt lucky to see that there was no one using the place. I changed to my swimwear and placed my things on the sidepool bench. I slowly submerged into the cool water and started a few strokes. I loved the cool water on my face. It seemed the coolness eased my swollen eyes. 


After about an hour, I went out of the water and got the towel on the bench. I felt so much better after the dip. While, drying my hair, I noticed a paper on top of my clothes. There was a note written on it.


Althea,


     I'm sorry if I can't stop myself. I've seen you happy with Kevin and it hurts. I've learned to love you. I know you are mad at me and even if you would not mind me or even won't try to give me a chance, I would not let this go. I've realized this now and I'm already sure of it. I've fallen in love with you.

Donghae

I didn't know what to feel after reading such note. I started to get mad at myself. I thought if I didn't get too close to him, all of this would not happen.

I placed the note on the pocket of my shorts. I tried to forget about it and went to the wash room. I had a warm shower and changed my clothes. When I was heading towards the main door, I saw a figure standing near the exit. 

It was Donghae.