Chapter 11 - Supposed

In my eyes I'm screaming for the sight of you...
And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through...
And I can't hold on to you...
So I guess I'll be lonely too...

LEE DONGHAE

"What are you do-"

I kissed her. I kissed Althea. I was not sure about what really happened. All I know was that I needed her. I felt her soft lips and didn't want to let go but she broke the kiss and pushed me.

"What are you doing?!" she asked. She looked shocked and angry. 

"I like you, Althea," I told her.

"What?! We just met few days ago! Why are you doing this?" She was already teary-eyed.

"I'm not playing with you, Althea! I don't even know why I'm feeling this!"

"Please stop this, Donghae."

After saying those words, she went inside her cabin. I didn't expect her to get angry. I knew it was not a good thing to do but my heart just pushed me to do it. Now I was left alone in the hallway. I wanted to talk to her but if I bothered her again tonight, she would really hate me.

I remembered the words she whispered to me few hours ago. 

"I love you..." 

I just pretended to be asleep at that time but the moment she said it, my heart was about to explode that it almost ruined my acting. I felt so happy that I wanted to kiss her but had to stop myself.

I went to my suite and lay on my bed. I didn't know what to do anymore. I kept on staring at the walls, thinking of all the things that happened to me in this cruise since I've met Althea. I was totally confused.

Why the hell am I feeling this? Why did I kiss her? Do I really love her? I said I wanted her to be with me because I didn't want to be lonely. Aish! I'm really confused right now! What should I do now? She's mad at me? Will she not talk to me anymore? I'm so sorry Althea. I'm so sorry...

~~~~~~

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

I rushed to my cabin as I could feel that my eyes couldn't hold my tears. I went to the bathroom sink and washed my face to stop all the tears. I didn't know why I cried after what happened. It has been every fangirl's dream to be kissed by their idol and it has also been my dream, however, I knew that kiss was not real. I mean, why would he kiss me? We just met and although we have been hanging out often, it wouldn't be enough for him to fall for me. Unless, he was just using me and my feelings for him to forget her. To forget Eunseo. And I hate to think that way because I've had so much respect for him.

I tried to sleep to forget about everything. But no matter how hard I try, I just couldn't. My thoughts are racing. I was angry at him for doing that. Yet, I know I fell for him deeper. I hate how much this confusion is affecting me. I hate how much I love him, knowing he would never be mine.

I relaxed my mind to sleep. I kept my eyes closed until I slowly fell into deep slumber.

I woke up by a knock at my door. I rubbed my eyes to open them and opened the door. It was a room attendant bringing food.

"Special breakfast delivery for Ms. Fajardo," she said. I couldn't recall ordering for breakfast. I let her in and placed the food on my bedside table. She asked if I needed anything and when I said no, she left the cabin. I saw a note together with the delivery. 

Althea,


     Good morning! You may still be angry at me but I hope I can talk to you. Please hear me out. I want to make it up to you.

Kevin

At first I thought it was from Donghae. I never knew Kevin would still try to talk to me. Honestly, I wanted to talk to Kevin too. After eating breakfast, I took a shower and got changed. I called for room service to clean my room and locked the door. As I went down the hallway, I saw Kevin waiting for me. He saw me and smiled at me shyly.

"Good morning, Althea," he greeted. I smiled at him. We sat on a bench near the railing and watched the ocean.

There was awkward silence at first until Kevin finally spoke up.

"Althea, I'm so sorry," Kevin said. "I hope you can forgive me."

"It's okay," I told him. "I consider you as my friend, Kevin. Let's not do things that can ruin that."

"I know. It's just that my feelings for you-"

"No, I believe you're just confused. We've just met so the things you're telling me now are not possible."

He stopped insisting. "Okay, so you'll hang-out with that Korean guy again?" I didn't like the way he stated it. 

"Today? Maybe not," I said bluntly.

He looked at my face as if reading my facial expression and knew something was not right.

"Did something happen between you two?" he asked.

"Nothing," I lied.

"Uhm, he's a celebrity, right?" he asked. 

How did he know? I wondered. 

"He looked very familiar so I tried searching his name in the internet. Are you his fan?"

I remained silent. He suddenly looked pissed off but he restrained himself. I wondered why.

"Do you like him? I mean, more than just a fan?" he asked me. I couldn't answer. I couldn't tell him that I've fallen in love with a celebrity who could only think of me as his fan.

"Let's not talk about this," I said. I guess he easily understood my avoidance to the topic because he stopped asking me about Donghae. 

"Oh! I almost forgot," he said as he got something from his pocket. He handed me movie tickets. "I've heard it's a very good film. Let's watch this... as friends."

I looked at him and saw his smile trying to persuade me. I looked at the ticket and read the title of the movie 'The Croods'. 

"This is animation, right?" I told him.

"Oh no. You hate cartoons?" 

"Of course not! I love cartoons," I said with a huge grin on my face. I was just wondering why this businessman wanted to watch cartoons. He smiled at me and we went to the Screening Room at deck two. There were few people lining for the show. Kevin bought popcorn and soda. When the main door opened, we followed the people and settled near the center aisle. Only a few minutes left before the lights are turned off.

"Let's enjoy this one, Althea. Thank you for trusting me again," Kevin said, looking at me.

I just smiled at him and nodded.

~~~~~~

LEE DONGHAE

I looked for Althea after eating breakfast at deck two. The ship was too big to look for someone but I won't give up.

I need to talk to her! I thought.

I started to look around at deck two. I noticed there were people queuing for the Screening Room. I became curious and headed to the preview screen to know what was the movie shown. It was an animated film.

I want to watch this movie. But it would be better if Althea was with me. 

Then I saw Althea. I was about to run to her when I saw Kevin bringing popcorn and soda heading towards her. Althea smiled at him. She offered to assist Kevin in bringing their food but he refused. As the door opened, they went inside.

I felt a sting in my heart. I never knew she could trust him again after what happened. I knew she was mad at me but I never thought she could easily forget about me.

I just stood there, frozen. Since the day I met her, I've always thought that she could accompany me all throughout this trip because she liked me. I thought I could always count on her. I supposed she would never leave me. 

Yet, I was wrong.

I couldn't hold on to her...