Chapter 3 - Confusion

02 Nine Days - Absolutely (Story of a Girl)

"This is a story of a girl...

who cried a river and drowned the whole world...

when she looks so sad in photographs...

I absolutely love her...

when she smiles..."

LEE DONGHAE

The ship departed Charlotte Amalie port at 6pm. I had so much fun in the excursions that I chose. I made new friends and tried so many things. I tried helmet diving, skyride and the island tour. I never thought I would be able to try them in my life. I thought I would be stuck in show business and never be able to do things on my own. I am happy that now I'm here.

I stayed at my room after I arrived back from the excursions. Even though I had so much fun today, I knew it would be better if other Super Junior members were with me. I checked my phone for any messages or missed calls. I got 3 messages.

The first message was from Ryeowook. "Hyung! Are you having fun? I wish I was there with you! I miss you!"

The second was from Heechul-hyung. "Donghae-ah! Why didn't you tell me that you will go on a cruise?! I want to try that too!"

The last one was from Eteuk-hyung. "Donghae-ah, how are you? I bet you're busy visiting various places? Can you call us? If you can please do call."

I smiled while reading those messages. I knew they were worried about me. I dialled Eteuk-hyung's number.

"Hello?" the other line answered. It was his voice. "Donghae?"

"Hyung, it's me," I answered.

"Donghae-ah! You finally called! I was worried. Are you enjoying your trip? Tell me!"

"You're too excited hyung," I laughed. "We're now heading to our next destination. It's so amazing to join a cruise hyung! You should also try it!" 

I heard voices from the background. It seems that the other members are there with Eteuk-hyung.

"Hello? Donghae? This is Hyukjae. Is it really fun there? Aish! I should have gone with you!"

Then, another voice came in. It was Kyuhyun. "Yah! Why didn't you bring me with you? I want to go there too!"

"Kyuhyun-ah, let's go together next time," I told him.

"Donghae-ah, it's me Sungmin. I just want souvenirs and I want to see your pictures, ok?"

I felt overwhelmed. I was so glad that everyone miss me. I miss them too. We have been together for almost our entire lives so being away even for just two weeks is already long and sad. 

Finally, Eteuk-hyung got his phone back. "Hey, I want you to be happy there. Do whatever you want. Forget all the problems. And most importantly, buy us souvenirs, okay?"

"Yes, hyung."

"Okay, just call me back if you have problems. We'll see you soon."

He hung up after saying goodbye. I felt both happy and sad after having that phone call. 

I went to the main dining hall to have dinner. There were already few people since it was almost nine o'clock. After having dinner, I went to the main pool to freshen up. I took a swim for almost an hour and went back to my cabin. I wanted to listen to good music and my cabin’s balcony is the perfect place to relax.

Then, I heard a girl's voice when I went out of my cabin’s balcony.

"Lee Donghae! Where are you now? Are you married already? Are you going to become a father? Are you happy? Well, you should!"

I looked around for the person shouting my name. I looked down the deck below my room and saw a girl shouting to the ocean in the middle of the night. She looked drunk. She was climbing the rails and if she does anything stupid, she might fall!

I rushed out my room and down to where she was. When I saw her, she was still shouting.

"Make sure to love your family, ok?! Especially your wife and your future children! Don't make them sad! Don't be like my father!"

She was already near the uppermost part of the rails and was already out of balance so I ran to her and puller her. She fell towards me and I was supposed to catch her but I slipped and we both fell on the floor.

My back was hurting but I was relieved that she was safe. She looked up and saw my face. She looked confused at first but then laughed.

"I guess I am really drunk," she said, looking at me. "I think my blood alcohol level is too high that now I'm already having hallucinations. Ah no, not hallucination but illusion. You look like Donghae!"

I've never seen a girl this drunk. I got up and pulled her up but she couldn't stand on her own. "Miss, you better go back to your room and sleep."

"Ah, you talk!" she said, smiling at me. I kept on supporting her to stand.

"Miss, where's your cabin? I will take you there."

I was so shocked when her facial expression changed and tears fell from her eyes. 

"Why did you have to get married? You're still an idol and you still have fans like me. Do you know how hard it is for me? You are the only person I loved since I became your fan. So why?"

I couldn't say anything to her. I knew she was drunk but I feel that the things she were saying came from her heart. I didn’t know where to bring her. She wouldn’t tell me her stateroom number. I decided to just bring her to my stateroom. I assisted her to walk but then she stopped me.

“Donghae-ah, I have to forget you. So be happy always okay? I can do this!” she said. After saying those words, she passed out. I had to carry her since she was not walking at all.

I placed her on my bed and thought about what I should do with her. Her shirt was soaked with sweat so I knew she had to change her clothes. I called for a bedroom steward to help in changing her clothes. I gave the lady steward one of my shirts for this drunk girl to wear. The lady steward left after the task I assigned her and I just lay on the couch.

I kept looking at this unknown girl on my bed. I kept thinking why she acted like that. I believe she’s not the party girl type. She looked very sad and depressed. And it’s all because of me. I knew many fangirls support me and other Super Junior members but I never realized I could affect someone’s life like this. I never knew someone would really love me with all their heart.

“But what can I do for you?” I thought. “I’m sorry if I hurt you so much. You’re asking where I am, I’m here. You’re asking if I’m married, no I’m not. She left me. I also don’t have any children. You’re asking if I’m happy, I’m not really sure. What have I done to you? I want to know more about you. I want to understand why you treated me more than just an idol. I want to help you.”

This was the first time I’ve encountered something like this and now I’m very confused...